Friday, January 20, 2012

No More Tea

I can't remember the first cup of tea I ever had, but it certainly was in the 60's when I was a child of single digits. I vividly remember sitting in front of the open fire in the country style kitchen. There was the big old red chair with springs in uncomfortable places. I was small enough to settle into the burrows between the large springs. Another chair placed in front of the fireplace was borrowed from the chrome dinning setting, definitely 40's model, as I'm sure my parents could never afford anything new. All too few occasions, my Mum and I sat up close to the fire, talking as she raised her legs placing her feet upon the brickwork above the fire. I guess one could say it was a true bum warming way to have a cup of tea, me and her. It was a precious moment to share with my mum.

As the years past and blurred into the distance, I cling to this memory like a torn piece of her apron held in my heart of the only real feeling when I felt close to my Mum, before she slowly crept away in her tortured mind when I was ten. I don't remember being tucked into bed or having stories read to me. Tender moments don't often come to mind. She was busy most of the time tending to the her daily chores, so I got out of her way. I would wander outside to play with my brothers, older than me, as I was the youngest of the clan of five. They were bullies, my brother next to me didn't like me much. Everyday he would whisper in my other brother's ear with a mischievous grin and devious glint in his eye. The action they both would take always had the same agenda of hurting me in some way. Many times I was physically hurt by them, but the harm was more emotional, so cries from me were absent, I silently whimpered and felt collapsed inside.

Sometimes I eagerly would elect to rise early with the sun and travel with my father in the old blue Holden Ute into the paddocks along bumpy narrow tracks. The vapours of mist would rise as the sun melted the frost. Sometimes the rabbit traps would be empty and others charged with a limp body. I had to cover my eyes when Dad grabbed potato bags from the back of the ute to assist a lamb or calf being born. I couldn't understand why I was never allowed to see something so miraculous as a little animal come into the world. The whole time I was with my father not a word was spoken between us, even when we came to a gate. I obediently opened it through an unspoken country law, waiting for him to drive through and close the gates.

I would stand as a miniature frame looking up to my giant of a father. I would stare at him as he drove the car, I would look at him as he worked with the sheep or driving the tractor and I wondered who he was. I thought it was normal that he never talked to me or looked my way. I never, ever felt his arms around me or sat on his lap.

My sister, the eldest of the family, had moved away from home when I was young. I later found she was my primary carer after I was born. She would push me in the pram, tend to my nappies and other requirements. I guess my Mum was busy with her chores of a demanding house. After all she had so many things to do.

There was an elder brother who would roar into the driveway and soon roar out. Several times we would come home to find his car smashed on the side of the road. My mother would have a scared vacant stare and her body would tremble waiting to see where her eldest son was. Dad frantically searched around the wreckage and into the bush around only to find my brother alive once again at home. I didn't talk to him either. It seemed that the boys didn't talk to the girls in our family, an unwritten law of our family. But then why did my mother not talk to me much either?
To keep myself occupied, I would go out to the bush near our house. There were often pretty flowers that I loved to pick. My favourite was the buttercups. I made up games with the trees and laid in clumps of grass and watched the shafts of golden sunlight dance through the trees. In season, I would sit in the nearby paddock making daisy chains. I looked out to the sub alpine landscape, made up of trees and green places filled with ferns and cold streams yet it made me feel so warm inside. Sometimes I would ride my aunty's horse Flicker, if she was in a good mood.  All of these things filled my day and I felt happy and it stopped me from feeling sad, lonely and profoundly unloved.

In our big old house, the wood stove was always alight except when it was time for Dad to change the fire bricks. The kettle was always on the side and would be pushed onto the hot plate and the air on the fire box was adjusted to increase the flame bringing the kettle to a rapid boil. There was a smokey, tin tea caddy with faded engravings of Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip on two of the four sides. The tea pot was the same since I could recall. Mum or Dad would turn the pot three times one way and three times the other way before we could pour. This ritual occurred many times throughout the day. The consumption of tea was an ongoing daily ritual. Tea was drank for all occasions. In the morning with breakfast, for morning tea with large slices of chunky white bread and jam, after lunch to cool us as the summer temperature rose,  and warm us in the winter chill. Tea was drunk when bad news came through a letter or the old black bakelite telephone. It was tea that shared our life, our family, creating a constant thread in my life every day.

Over the years, I often couldn't wait til I got home to boil the electric kettle to make a cup of my favourite tea bag. After each child was born and settled, a cup of tea would greet me to celebrate. As I made important decisions to marry, to divorce, buy a house, take a new job, move house, holiday, caring for a friend, bury my dog, say goodbye to my children, to soothe me as worry and fear took hold. Tea tasted ever so good in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep, it seemed to take away my loneliness, it was my friend when others were absent. I had many a favourite cup that I would drink tea from. Sometimes I would pull out the very best bone china to drink tea with my friends. It tasted ever so good with sumptuous cream cakes and scones.

I explored different types of teas over the years, then one day I tasted the very best ever, in a lovely little cafe in Murwillumbah, 2009, the year of my marriage to my best husband of all. French Earl Grey with real flower petals. You see tea was with me at every turn, to comfort me and be in the background of my emotional register to remind me of those early childhood days. 
Fifty odd years have passed as I gently touch the textured tea stained quilt of my life. My body is aching all too often. My body whispers the need for change on may levels. Refinement of food is required and emotions to be felt. Many rooms of renovation are met with willingness, but the daily ritual of tea-comfort continues, ducking behind the door when change walk by until one day I come head to head with truth. Do I want to grow or remain knotted? My soul cleverly knows what to do. Each cup, over the last few months has had the taste of bitterness, the seasoned comfort has dried up. It's crystal clear, it's time for radical change, time for tea drinking to close. Its time to feel the truth of my pain.

The first few days are reasonable, then the earnest surveillance begins, my nervous system's alarm bells ring loud. Irritable, uncomfortable, shaky and sweaty.  A few quick sips to soothe her. Keep busy, erratic moments and decisions to avoid this horrible sinking feeling. On a recent Sunday afternoon, sitting as part of an audience for live music, I began to panic. An angry monster was awakening within. She was not being fed of the very thing that keeps her quiet. She was starting to bulge threatening to burst out of the seams and spill over on to the floor, screaming at the top of her voice...she was being shut down, contained to keep the peace, to avoid detection. A quick exit had to be found.

Finally, with exhausted relief, she huddled into her room fully able to spill all over the place the truth she kept hidden so dear. The thread of tea that kept her tightly stitched together through every known and unknown challenge was unravelling.  Shaking, intolerable agony, short jerking breathes finally gave way to wails of grief. Giving up tea has allowed me to connect to a grief that was taking up so much space in my soul. The grief flowed like tea from a teapot.

If I give up tea, I will loose the last bare threads of connection to my mother, my family. I lose my mothe'rs love, like an cup of tea finally dripping the last drop into my mouth, to comfort me, to hold me together, to get me through the next wave of disaster. What will I have to cling to now? Tea needed me, it had kept me close, it didn't let me out of its sight for one day for all those long enduring years. It controlled me, organised my day. Now it was going, soon to be gone. 

What will become of me without tea?  I will become free, free of self deception that mother's love can be found in a cup of tea. That I will never feel love again.  Tea had become my substitute for love. In the absence of love, tea had became the most predicable and reliable source of comfort connecting me to the feeling of my mother's love. Now it was time to let it go, to know that I could leap from the raft in the middle of stormy seas onto solid ground of REAL love. A love so solid that it forms the structural walls and stable floor of my house. A love that wraps its arm around every time I call for it. A love that never goes away and stands the test of time, the real love that comes from Mumma God. 

Love you dearly Mum. I miss the precious short times we had together and walks we had in the garden.

Here's to you Mum, one last cup of tea. Now I can let you go knowing that the precious moments of love between us will always remain within me.

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Hello 2012 - We've been waiting for you

Divine Timing
The time has come for us to pause for a moment as we wave goodbye to the year past and shout an excited or tentative hello to 2012. This is not just any new year, but a year that has the clock ticking in a count down of prophecy. It is a time of accelerated growth and radical renovation, breaking the evolutionary stagnation we have experienced for some time now. What fate is in store for us? What transformation will take place? The answer to these questions lie in the personal choices we make.

I feel 2012 is a year of change for humanity as we make choices and changes that will transform the way we will live and interact with each other and our earth. The waves of Love and Truth sent by God towards us will intensify, ushering us along, yet our fearful resistance will certainly squeeze us into uncomfortable corners.
We will choose our path or way - the broad path of Natural Love with a final and limited destiny to be perfected in Love, the original state of man. This is the main path humanity is currently following OR we can choose the narrow path of Divine Love. The infinite destiny of Divine Love is to become At-One with God and transform into a Divine Angel and enter the celestial realms of heaven.

The three vital keys for the Path of Divine Love is Humility, Truth and Love. Humility softens the lock of our resistance, allowing our soul door to open wide for error (unlove) to leave and Divine Truth to enter. Now Divine Love can flood in, transforming our soul. This is the grand renovation of the soul, bringing new attributes, functionality and infinite potential. It is only through receiving Divine Love that we can become At One with God and transmute to Divine Angels (receive our angel wings and be totally in truth and free of error) and enter the gates of heaven while still on earth. This is the true meaning of Heaven Upon Earth. We are not divine in any way until we reach this state...we have to choose this path to become Divine.

The more we find the courage to be humble, the more we open to Divine Truth and Divine Love to fill our Golden Chalice (our soul), the more we engage our soul's passion and loving desires. The sands of change will swirl causing the orbs of prophesy to become unpredictable, causing our fate of former phophecy to be uncertain. And...this is good news. As we open to allow Divine Truth and Divine Love to change us, we grow in love as our unloving ways leave us. Concurrently, both our inner and outer worlds change. As each of us change and grow in love, we literally change the patterns and behaviour of the universe and support loving change in others. This is how God has designed it.

For 2012, dive deep into your soul's courage, ignite the mighty power of your passion and desire for Divine Truth and Divine Love to enter whilst softening in your humility to feel your way through the grand renovation and transformation of your soul. The ticket to the destiny of your choosing, is waiting in a street car named Desire. The GPS is set and all you have to do is turn the key and let God take the wheel.

Divine Humility
Humility is a passionate longing or desire to feel every belief and emotion within ourselves whether it be painful or pleasurable, no matter what anybody else feels about it. 
Divine Truth
Divine Truth is a passionate longing or desire for God's Truth to enter and open our soul to Divine Love.
Divine Love
Divine Love is a passionate longing or desire for God's Love to enter and transform our soul
  • Love can only enter when error has left the building
  • Error and Truth cannot reside in the same space
  • Fear prevents truth from entering our soul
  • Humility allows error to flow out naturally
As humans it requires great courage and humility to accept that many concepts and beliefs that we hold dear in our hearts are in fact untrue. However, there is joy waiting for us as we realise that the truth of who we really are is much more amazing. It is also heartwarming that our profound loneliness, pain and what seems an endless struggle, can dissolve and transform with Divine Love. For Divine Love and Truth is God's Way of Healing us.

If you allow it, Love, Truth and Humility will literally transform your lives. 2012 and beyond is all about Love. Learning about love from the inside out, effortlessly resonating waves of love out into the world. This is how you can be of greatest and most profound service to yourself and to our world.

God's Love transforms us, we don't have to do it ourselves. When we surrender and allow God's Love to transform us, it is effortless.

Love, Love, Love, All We Need Is Love.

I am deeply grateful for what One Garden essences have revealed to me. They have ushered me along a path of truth and helped me discovered the true meaning of me as God's child. God heard my prayers and the celestial angels came and offered me a way of service not only to my soul, but for others. It was my prayers, the longing in my soul for truth led me to the teachings of Divine Truth through AJ Miller, Mary Luck and the Padget Messages. What astounded me was the convergence of their teachings and what I was receiving through the birthing of One Garden essences. It all beautiful merged into the same language.

One Garden essences act as gardeners of your soul, taking you by the hand and lovingly guide you to the places in your inner garden, to show you the qualities of the your soul that need love and attention. They assist to cultivate an environment for you open to truth,so love can enter to transform you.

My Love and Blessings and Prayers reach out you. Let your passionate, loving desires and the mighty power of your soul carry you to your destiny filled with Love and an amazing life however you choose to be.

Graeme and I give gratitude to our practitioners who have been working with One Garden.
We look forward to being of service to you during 2012, to assist the loosening of your resistance to Love.

and Graeme
Co-Creators of One Garden Divine Flower and Nature Essences.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Royal Welcome

Royal Welcome - Tibouchina
Tears flow as she is welcomed. She has returned from the test of truth, the straight red carpet, the golden carriage awaits, trumpets herald her presence in jubilation. The crowd cheer and wave to her, she is home at long last with her true royal family. She has place, purpose, sovereignty and is divinely loved.

Grow desire to: commit to earth journey; welcomed as God’s child; release emotional wounds causing illness and depression; release wounds of rejection; be accepted; feel worthy to live fully and wholly
Her Strengths: Vulnerability, whole hearted, reconnected to Source, truth as a soul, fully accepted, recovered, awakening, sovereign, revitalised, acknowledged, belonging in place, position and value, supported during chaos, grounded, has a purpose for living, blessing children, expansive, divine right to be here,
Her Wounds: Alienated, separated, excluded, rejected, inadequate, unworthy, unwanted, unloved, denied, rejected, forgotten, ill, depressed, disconnected, denial of soul’s truth as a sovereign child of God.
Physical: Support for revitalising and recovery from long term illness, auric cleanse, nervous systems, strengthens and charges neural pathways, helps you handle increased light frequencies and be less appealing to neural diseases that inhibit the body’s ability to hold energy, strengthens DNA, stimulates regrowth, rebuilding and accurate replication of cells, enhances its ability to recombine into the promised fuller strands – rebuilds cells.  

This jubilant, royal purple flower is often found at the front entrance of homes, lovingly welcoming each person as they step through the gate to return home from a long journey of separateness. The white tentacles beckon you home and to walk through the door.  Once home the  garden path of the soul unfolds. Each flower along the path guides you to deeper truths of  your true soul's qualities and desire to come shining through. From here you will recover from the maze of fairytales to find a solid path to walk.

This essence is for people who feel locked out of their own lives, disconnected and invisible. The return journey and the opening of doors starts with vulnerability and willingness to feel and desire to know our true self beyond the self created masks. People who have these injuries feel that constantly need approval or apolgise for their existance. This of course is an untruth.  

Royal Welcome is the choice to end separation, to reconnect to God and discover your true sovereignty and purpose as a soul living in a spirit and physical body upon the earth. Since Amon and Aman (earth first parent’s commonly known as Adam and Eve), their decision to turn away from God’s love and help was the beginning of humanity’s degradation. This is commonly describes as The Fall or reference to Separation. Most humans have been taught to live a life of self reliance, without the help of God. We are now beginning the journey to re-establish our relationship with Her without the filter of religion. We have suffered under the rule of self-reliance and now we are offered to live in the way that a loving parent who welcomes each child home with open loving arms.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Fibonacci Garden - Stage Two

Fibonacci Spiral Garden
For many years I have been drawn to labyrinths and spirals. My second marriage began in the centre of a spiral. Five years later I went back to the spiral to dissolve my marriage. We co-created our essences Divine Truth and Divine Grace in the centre of spirals. I discovered long ago that the energy of these formations is very powerful and to be used wisely. However, I write now with a deeper understanding of their power and meaning.

Yesterday in my blog, I wrote about the Fibonacci spiral garden in my back yard and my fear of it. I made a decision to explore my fear at its conception.

Over the past weeks, I observed my long standing pain with money, my relationship with my children, my desire to know our essence Divine Temple and my fear of our Fibonacci garden were all coming into a focal point. I found yesterday they all had a common key.

Becasue I feel the garden is of feminine qualities, I prayed to the feminine aspect of God, being Divine Mother, to help me find the truth. I wanted to know the source of this wounded energy that was driving my fear of the garden. I then felt a desire rise within me to sit in the centre of the spiral. This is the place of truth, the begining. It was close to midday and very hot. I placed myself in a foetal like postion and prayed again for God to show me truth. I breathed and patiently waited. My tears started to flow as my personal truth began to speak. I was scared of taking responsibility of God's garden as I judged myself to be a failed mother. I felt God had given me her children and I must have been so bad at mothering that God took them away from me (my children were separated from me in 1996 and never returned to my care). How could I take care of God's plants if I am a bad mother? Bom-bom! I was scared of failing God again. I cried deeply as I felt and released this feeling of failure.
Healing deeply through tears
My next personal truth followed. I judged myself unable to create products that were of value to anyone. How could I be abundant if I am a wasted space? How could God pay me if I could offer nothing of value? I cried deeply as I felt and released this feeling of failure.

I felt another truth flowing into my awareness, but this time it was God's Truth. I was sitting in the place representing God's point of creation, the centre of the spiral. The Fibonacci spiral contains God's Plan for Life, God's System governed by God's Laws. The spiral's creative potential is infinite and powerful beyond comprehension. 
Divine Temple - Blue Skyflower
We were created with God's Love and Truth and given Free Will to do what we please with it. God desires us to return to her Divine Temple, offering an open-ended invitation for all to enter. Entry is free to all people regardless of their situation and status. Perfection is not required, come as you are, warts and all! If we stick to God's Plan and live under the roof of God's Divine Temple, all our desires and needs are fulfilled.

In fact it was God's Truth that I had been living outside of God's Temple trying to do everything on my own - being self-reliant. I was living personal untruths as to my value as a woman and a mother. These untruths were given to me by my parents, heritage and environment. This was causing me untold pain and agony. For if I was living in truth within God's Temple, I would be thriving on God's Truth of who I really am. God gave me amazing creative abilties, passions and desires. God desires for all her children to flourish and bloom, including me in all my roles and responsibilities. But as I chose to live outside of God's Plan, I had to live the consequences with all its uglyness.

I looked up and saw a bee and was reminded that bee colonies are collapsing because they are reflecting back to us our collective fear of lack. The bees are literally working themselves to early deaths because we are choosing to live outside God's Temple.

Why do I fear our humble Fibonacci spiral garden, our God's Temple containing God's Plan for us to flourish? I am terrified of its potential, its power, its enormity of what I could be if I entered God's Divine Temple. Bom-bom!!

OK, so how do I enter God's Divine Temple? I freely accept God's open invitation and take the first steps towards God with Humility and ask for God's Love and Truth. Then I ask for God to be with me as I cry, washing away my castle of pain and gradually align with God's Truth. This is the ultimate way to use my gift of free will. 
I vote with my feet towards God.
Feet Voting
I have never been into religion, although I have poked my head in to explore.  My real relationship with God has been cultivated and encouraged by a desire that comes from within me and the flowers. Nature has shown me God's Truth in so many ways that I could no longer avoid it. This has opened my Path to Divine Love.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Fibonacci Garden - Stage One

I sit every morning sipping my green breakfast smoothie. The scene before me is our backyard - large, open,and pleasantly green from summer rains. A variety of birds chatters and flies about eating seeds and bugs. My cat Monty is on my lap receiving his morning massage of love and affection. The sun is warm and nurturing. The morning breeze is comforting. I gaze at our incomplete Fibonacci spiral garden in the middle of our back yard and I literally shake with fear.

Both Graeme and I have longed to grow vegies. We yearned for the feeling of soil on our hands, feeling its texture and potential of life between our fingers. Our hearts were saddened at our attempts to grow vegies in the rainforest failed because our lack of experience, a greedy brush turkey and constant torrential rain (blame, blame, blame!!!).

God heard our desires and prayers. We moved to our new place with a huge back yard and drier weather. We have been given permission to use the land to grow vegetables by the landlord. So now we have space to bring into reality our desire to grow our own food and share with our community. We have green lights to go ahead.  No excuses, right!

Soon after we moved in, we gratefully gathered donated bricks from our neighbour’s. We purchased good organic veggie soil. We enthusiastically built a small (safe) garden around the tank. I relished releasing my anger and frustration through the assault of the mattock clearing the grass. I have personally found anger to be a great energy for creation. So far our small garden around the tank is flourishing magnificently. We are succeeding!

But why so small when we have a big back yard as a blank canvas for us to grow our bigger desires. Hmmm...easy after a few weeks why haven't we progressed with our bigger plans?

Our bigger plans arrived after we attended a permaculture workshop and obtained information of Fibonacci planting. Fibonacci numbering series is God's mathematical system to grow life.
We set up the border ready for us to take our desires to the next step. Then nothing. Yes, we have many excuses, travel, heat, and other distractions. But when you have a desire, a passion, you find time for it, don't you. It becomes a focal point of your intentions and actions. Passion is energy, passion is direction, and passion is creative, so why have we not moved forward on this? Why the procrastination? What is stopping us, what is stopping me to taking my desires to the next level?

The short answer is FEAR! False Expectations Appearing Real. Fear of failure, fear of failing God, fear of maths, fear of being stupid, fear of power to create my desires, fear of self sufficiency, fear of giving up addictions of relying on others, fear of having it taken away from me, fear of getting into trouble from the landlord. I realise I don't trust myself with God's power of creation and I am sure there is a bigger list of fears and judgements of self. Phew, I didn't realise such a pattern on the lawn could bring up so many emotions.

So how do I get over my block? It is time for me to feel deeply into my soul, to feel my emotions, my fear, my frustration without applying self punishment. I apply action by flowing my tears, to tantrum, scream, laugh, shake, sing, dance, and breathe while I pick up the shovel. I have an invitation to discover my personal truth and God's truth, to discover God's Laws of Creation and Order. God has given me these Fibonacci numbers to learn how to truly garden, to grow my desires, to weed my untruths so I can fully flourish and bloom. So I can know myself, know God; to share and connect, to relate, to interconnect with all other beings and elements on this earth and universe. God is showing me the way to be an intricate part of Her One Garden.

This is just not any garden, any little 'ole pattern upon the lawn, it’s big, it needs faith, courage and humility.

So let's get started Christiana!!!

Monday, April 12, 2010

Make Tears Matter

When was the last time you cried? Or have you been crying endlessly and don't know when you are going to stop?

When I look over my life there has been so much to cry about, so much grief. There were times when I crawled into my bed with a beach towel. I cried and cried until the beach towel was sodden, but things didn't seem to get better. I stopped only because I was sick and tired of crying. I was left confused as I had been told that tears were healing, an emotional bath washing away saddness, but for me no matter how much I cried, I didn't heal.

At the other end of the scale, I know people who simply don't cry, they can't seem to bring themselves to allow the flow to happen - an emotional drought so to speak. It seems there is an awaiting trophy not to cry, to be tough and smile our way through this healthy I ask?

These two polarities have a common link - numbness!

We are a soul with desires, passions, intentions, personality, memories and emotions. We are designed to be emotional. Crying is a natural clearing process of our emotional debris to ensure we remain balanced and harmonious opening space to fully receive from our creative source. If this is true, then why didn't all my tears help heal me? The answer - although I was crying - I wasn't feeling! I was crying with numbness. My numbness was not allowing me to access the cause of the problem in order for me to fully resolve it. 

Now when I cry, it is different. When the emotions rise, I gently ask God to guide me to full feeling awareness of my core wound, to go right into the centre of it, a bit like going into the eye of a storm. I allow myself to feel the pain knowing that this will apply purpose to my emotions. This is the shift you see; before I was crying without purpose, aimlessly thrashing about in the tub without going anywhere, not solving a thing. Now I cry with purpose and feeling with the focus to become aware of the true reason for my sadness. I do this by going into the pain and not running away from it. Once I cry for truth, I finally clear the problem once and for all. The critcal key to this process is that it is a FEELING event, it's not a mind event. Intellect alone is not going to solve emotional problems, feeling them will.

This process takes patience, courage and self love; allowing the truth of the matter to be revealed when it's ready, when I am ready. Eventually, sometimes quickly, other times it takes a few hours or so to connect to the cause, then bingo! This is the revelatory stage, aha moments; it feels so good with a sense of freedom, liberation and usually laughter when I see what I was so scared to see, turns out to be something much less and more manageable than I expected. The funny insight is that often I have been running away from the pain for years, often being "disabled" by it, but when I feel it I can "finish it" quickly, once and for all. 

On the other side, not crying, holding emotions takes a lot of strength, distraction and extreme numbness. Obesity, illness, depression, chronic fatique, addictions etc are strategies of distraction in order for us not to feel emotions. Much belief is embedded in this behaviour; "boys don't cry", "emotions are a sign of weakness", "get over it" , "fake it til you make it" are usually the mantras that play constantly. Our soul has a strategy to overcome our avoidance, to break down the steel walls imprisioning our emotions through our Law of Attraction, by throwing every obstacle in our path in an attempt for us to surrender our vice grip control. Key feelings of frustration, anger, deperation or despair are common emotions to open the door of vulnerability. To become vulnerable is the greatest challenge because it feels like failing, however, vulnerability is the powerful key to healing and transformation.  If all this chipping away doesn't work then usually it takes a mack truck experience to break through the barriers.

Allow the feeling, otherwise the scenario will return again and again until ultimately we surrender as the strong will and control lose all power. This is when it can get out of control.

Crying is not weakness, it is strength, allowing your natural cycles of emotions to flow. Think of emotions being like the weather, sometimes sunny, followed by clouds, rain and storms, then the sun comes out again. One could say it is like a storm in a teacup. Watch children deal with their emotions. They are honest and transparent, usually they don't spend much time in any one emotion.  Learn from this.

Allowing yourself to cry is an act of self love. Letting go of expectations placed on us by others and yourself, allows you to be true to self. 

If you feel you cannot do this alone then seek help from a skilled counsellor such as Journey practitioners or other related healers. The KEY is to avoid mind based strategies and engage body/heart/feeling based techniques so you can be encouraged to truly feel your emotions and to clear your wounds once and for all. 

One Garden Divine Flower and Nature Essences will also help guide and support you during your healing process. Divine Self Love, Royal Heart (Lincoln) and Divine Truth are good essences to start your feeling journey. Book in for a consultation - face to face, email, phone, skype

Go on, have a good cry, do it with feeling and you'll be surpsied how much your body, daily life and Law of Attraction change for the better.