Thursday, March 3, 2011

Fibonacci Garden - Stage Two

Fibonacci Spiral Garden
For many years I have been drawn to labyrinths and spirals. My second marriage began in the centre of a spiral. Five years later I went back to the spiral to dissolve my marriage. We co-created our essences Divine Truth and Divine Grace in the centre of spirals. I discovered long ago that the energy of these formations is very powerful and to be used wisely. However, I write now with a deeper understanding of their power and meaning.

Yesterday in my blog, I wrote about the Fibonacci spiral garden in my back yard and my fear of it. I made a decision to explore my fear at its conception.

Over the past weeks, I observed my long standing pain with money, my relationship with my children, my desire to know our essence Divine Temple and my fear of our Fibonacci garden were all coming into a focal point. I found yesterday they all had a common key.

Becasue I feel the garden is of feminine qualities, I prayed to the feminine aspect of God, being Divine Mother, to help me find the truth. I wanted to know the source of this wounded energy that was driving my fear of the garden. I then felt a desire rise within me to sit in the centre of the spiral. This is the place of truth, the begining. It was close to midday and very hot. I placed myself in a foetal like postion and prayed again for God to show me truth. I breathed and patiently waited. My tears started to flow as my personal truth began to speak. I was scared of taking responsibility of God's garden as I judged myself to be a failed mother. I felt God had given me her children and I must have been so bad at mothering that God took them away from me (my children were separated from me in 1996 and never returned to my care). How could I take care of God's plants if I am a bad mother? Bom-bom! I was scared of failing God again. I cried deeply as I felt and released this feeling of failure.
Healing deeply through tears
My next personal truth followed. I judged myself unable to create products that were of value to anyone. How could I be abundant if I am a wasted space? How could God pay me if I could offer nothing of value? I cried deeply as I felt and released this feeling of failure.

I felt another truth flowing into my awareness, but this time it was God's Truth. I was sitting in the place representing God's point of creation, the centre of the spiral. The Fibonacci spiral contains God's Plan for Life, God's System governed by God's Laws. The spiral's creative potential is infinite and powerful beyond comprehension. 
Divine Temple - Blue Skyflower
We were created with God's Love and Truth and given Free Will to do what we please with it. God desires us to return to her Divine Temple, offering an open-ended invitation for all to enter. Entry is free to all people regardless of their situation and status. Perfection is not required, come as you are, warts and all! If we stick to God's Plan and live under the roof of God's Divine Temple, all our desires and needs are fulfilled.

In fact it was God's Truth that I had been living outside of God's Temple trying to do everything on my own - being self-reliant. I was living personal untruths as to my value as a woman and a mother. These untruths were given to me by my parents, heritage and environment. This was causing me untold pain and agony. For if I was living in truth within God's Temple, I would be thriving on God's Truth of who I really am. God gave me amazing creative abilties, passions and desires. God desires for all her children to flourish and bloom, including me in all my roles and responsibilities. But as I chose to live outside of God's Plan, I had to live the consequences with all its uglyness.

I looked up and saw a bee and was reminded that bee colonies are collapsing because they are reflecting back to us our collective fear of lack. The bees are literally working themselves to early deaths because we are choosing to live outside God's Temple.

Why do I fear our humble Fibonacci spiral garden, our God's Temple containing God's Plan for us to flourish? I am terrified of its potential, its power, its enormity of what I could be if I entered God's Divine Temple. Bom-bom!!

OK, so how do I enter God's Divine Temple? I freely accept God's open invitation and take the first steps towards God with Humility and ask for God's Love and Truth. Then I ask for God to be with me as I cry, washing away my castle of pain and gradually align with God's Truth. This is the ultimate way to use my gift of free will. 
I vote with my feet towards God.
Feet Voting
I have never been into religion, although I have poked my head in to explore.  My real relationship with God has been cultivated and encouraged by a desire that comes from within me and the flowers. Nature has shown me God's Truth in so many ways that I could no longer avoid it. This has opened my Path to Divine Love.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Fibonacci Garden - Stage One

I sit every morning sipping my green breakfast smoothie. The scene before me is our backyard - large, open,and pleasantly green from summer rains. A variety of birds chatters and flies about eating seeds and bugs. My cat Monty is on my lap receiving his morning massage of love and affection. The sun is warm and nurturing. The morning breeze is comforting. I gaze at our incomplete Fibonacci spiral garden in the middle of our back yard and I literally shake with fear.

Both Graeme and I have longed to grow vegies. We yearned for the feeling of soil on our hands, feeling its texture and potential of life between our fingers. Our hearts were saddened at our attempts to grow vegies in the rainforest failed because our lack of experience, a greedy brush turkey and constant torrential rain (blame, blame, blame!!!).

God heard our desires and prayers. We moved to our new place with a huge back yard and drier weather. We have been given permission to use the land to grow vegetables by the landlord. So now we have space to bring into reality our desire to grow our own food and share with our community. We have green lights to go ahead.  No excuses, right!

Soon after we moved in, we gratefully gathered donated bricks from our neighbour’s. We purchased good organic veggie soil. We enthusiastically built a small (safe) garden around the tank. I relished releasing my anger and frustration through the assault of the mattock clearing the grass. I have personally found anger to be a great energy for creation. So far our small garden around the tank is flourishing magnificently. We are succeeding!

But why so small when we have a big back yard as a blank canvas for us to grow our bigger desires. Hmmm...easy after a few weeks why haven't we progressed with our bigger plans?

Our bigger plans arrived after we attended a permaculture workshop and obtained information of Fibonacci planting. Fibonacci numbering series is God's mathematical system to grow life.
We set up the border ready for us to take our desires to the next step. Then nothing. Yes, we have many excuses, travel, heat, and other distractions. But when you have a desire, a passion, you find time for it, don't you. It becomes a focal point of your intentions and actions. Passion is energy, passion is direction, and passion is creative, so why have we not moved forward on this? Why the procrastination? What is stopping us, what is stopping me to taking my desires to the next level?

The short answer is FEAR! False Expectations Appearing Real. Fear of failure, fear of failing God, fear of maths, fear of being stupid, fear of power to create my desires, fear of self sufficiency, fear of giving up addictions of relying on others, fear of having it taken away from me, fear of getting into trouble from the landlord. I realise I don't trust myself with God's power of creation and I am sure there is a bigger list of fears and judgements of self. Phew, I didn't realise such a pattern on the lawn could bring up so many emotions.

So how do I get over my block? It is time for me to feel deeply into my soul, to feel my emotions, my fear, my frustration without applying self punishment. I apply action by flowing my tears, to tantrum, scream, laugh, shake, sing, dance, and breathe while I pick up the shovel. I have an invitation to discover my personal truth and God's truth, to discover God's Laws of Creation and Order. God has given me these Fibonacci numbers to learn how to truly garden, to grow my desires, to weed my untruths so I can fully flourish and bloom. So I can know myself, know God; to share and connect, to relate, to interconnect with all other beings and elements on this earth and universe. God is showing me the way to be an intricate part of Her One Garden.

This is just not any garden, any little 'ole pattern upon the lawn, it’s big, it needs faith, courage and humility.

So let's get started Christiana!!!